Dilemmas....

I feel like I already had a post named Dilemmas... or something close. *Checks* Apparently not.

Anyways so my dilemma is Sky's Content planning is completely done. I can't really deviate from what's there. If I do it's just another way to get to some main plot points. So now that I have it all planned out I feel less of an urge to write it...

Previously this wouldn't be an issue because Sky's Content was always changing, but the thing is, it hasn't changed all that much since last Fall. Even with the (out of nowhere) break up the ending is still the same. It's just going to take about 10 chapters to get to where they were supposed to be in 5.

This always seems to happen when I'm done planning out at a story. Once it's plotted I feel like it's done, and I don't need to worry about it anymore. I guess it's because so much more effort and planning is done then actual writing.

For Sky's Content alone there has been at least 10 various plot lines and sequences that I ended up scrapping (probably more I no longer remember). Specifically for when Yuri is house bound after her accident. There is about 3 or 4 chapters worth that I never wrote. And some of it I really rather enjoyed, like the original way Yuri cut her hand. Or the origins behind the flower and note on Shikamaru's bed. Those were so epic and awesome but it just... didn't make the cut.

OH and not to mention the first way Shikamaru's mom found out about them was so horribly cute and romantic. And I mean HORRIBLY cute. Like you would read it and literally go 'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW' with the jaw dropping and everything. Perhaps I should post about it sometime...

But alas, back to the dilemma of not feeling the urge to write it. I think I just need to get over Yuri's whole brooding period and it will pick up. Trust me I know how annoying and stupid she was in chapter 16. That's because she hasn't gotten her way in two years and is frustrated out of her mind. Which in turn makes me frustrated for having to write that because I have to go through every emotion and thought she has.

Gah, so annoying...

I Need A Bigger Room

When I was away on my work term the past few months the room I had where I was staying was a lot bigger then my room at home. Now that I'm back in school and in my room at home, I'm quickly realizing I've completely outgrown the space.

I have way too many books. I'm stashing them anywhere I can find: behind my TV, on some random shelf in the corner, etc. And I just ordered some more manga online knowing that I have nowhere to put them. Well technically I DO, but I like to display my manga and my display shelves are now full.

I suppose I can empty out my random cables/computer shelf but that would only temporarily solve the problem...

AND not only is the problem with my manga, it's with my closet too. Not to sound too much like a girl, but my closet is WAY too small. I would say about half of my clothes are in the closet the rest are somewhere around the house in hampers or in the basement.

I need more space x_X

Dexter

I've been re-watching Dexter the past few days and man is it still just as good as when I first saw it. I remember I started to watch Dexter because I heard the season 4 finale was crazy. I didn't know ANYTHING about Dexter until I started to watch the first episode. About 5 minutes into the first episode when Dexter was so enticed by the body without blood I was hooked.

Initially I was amazed at Dexter's character. There's very little shows where a bad guy headlines as the protagonist. I thought it was amazing that they could take such a dark and twisted person and make him so relatable.

Then the more I watched it I just got carried away by the episodes. Before I knew it it was 5-6am and I finished season 1 in one night. I tweeted about this the other day, but there's something really calming about a good show so early in the morning. Just letting yourself stop thinking and let the story guide you. I just love feelings you get: anxiety, happiness, sadness, etc. All because you just let the story take control over your life for a few hours when everything else is calm and quiet.

So AWESOME! Perhaps this is appealing to me so much because of the story teller in me. I don't know many people who would sit in bed for the whole day marathoning multiple seasons of a TV Show. But god is it awesome.

<333

One Year

It's interesting how much your life can change in one year. It's hard to believe that it's been a year of blogging already! Well it's almost, I think I started this on the 24th. Regardless I just can't believe how different things are now then they were last May 22.

This time last year was hell for me. I was in a bad place for a really long time and I finally feel like I'm getting out of it. I still remember the exact days everything happened. April 24th, the day after my last exam I found out my cat, Rosco was going to die. After I found out I knew my other cat Felix was going to go soon after, but on June 5th I found out he was going to die from cancer, not from grief. Then on June 30th my grandfather died. On July 17 we put Rosco down and on July 23rd, 6 days later we put Felix down.

God it so weird talking about it. In the past year I've kept repeating it in my head over and over, the various numbers. How close each of them were to one another.

Ironically, something from the Private Practice season finale really got to me that sort of relates to this. In the finale when Dell found out he had another brain bleed he was telling Betsy, his daughter, not to be sad because everything bad that was ever going to happen to her already happened in such a short time. So nothing could ever be worse.

I don't really know what more I can say without being too personal. I'm all for being more open in blogs but I think there's a point where it's too much.

I just wanted to say mostly that I was in a bad place and a lot of things suffered because of it. And now a year later all I can do now is try to make up for everything I've let slide since then. It's still hard to believe just how different in mentality and just being I am now as opposed to then. I obviously still have my issues, everyone does, but I'm different now. Hopefully for the better.

Things Always Get in the Way

It seems like no matter how difficult or how much work you have, it always piles up on you at some point. I'm three weeks into school this year and the amount of work I have in comparison to last term is significantly smaller. Yet, I still feel like I never have enough time to do anything.

The only real difference I can say about this term and last term is that I can work and stuff last minute this term if I REALLY needed to and it would be okay. Last term if I last minute-ed anything I was eaten alive by the work. Then again, last term there was so much to do that I was pretty much eaten alive regardless -__-

The excuse for why I feel like this now is that I actually have time to work on side projects. In the back of my mind I have all these projects I want to work on but can't because of my school work. I am DYING to continue work on the new EOE but can't because I have an English test, Calculus assignment and Programming assignment due this week...

Ultimately, there is no way in hell anyone can get everything they ever want to accomplish completed (unless they're super crazy smart and a workaholic). So I guess all we can do is just concentrate on prioritizing.

:S

(EDIT: And let me point out that when you are reading an article that you have no interest in whatsoever, all the other things you can do keep popping up in your mind. Taunting you with their vaguely interesting topics.)

Web stuff!

So I've spent the past week or so preparing my websites and stuff for applying to jobs. To be more specific I've spent the past 3 days working on the new and improved EOE. For those of you who don't know, EOE is my website directory. I'm redoing the whole thing pretty much from scratch.

The new EOE will no longer only contain graphics/resources. It will also include blogs, tutorial sites, portfolios, etc. There will be a new and improved user system. The user will have a profile where they can edit their information, and from there they can control the listings under their user name (meaning you can have more than one site listed!). And the new login system should be automated so you can sign up, receive a confirmation e-mail and activate your account. Also, the top views will actually work properly. You shouldn't be able to refresh a page and increase the views anymore.

On the backend side of things I plan to make my own admin panel to make my life easier. Including a mass e-mailing system.

SO, that's the plan. In the past few days I've completed the new layout, set up the databases, and got the logging in with encrypted passwords to work. Since I restructured the entire site, the initial set up took a little longer.

That's about it! Back to work!

Procrastination

So I've been trying to find a way to procrastinate on my work report. Turns out I procrastinating on my work report with other school work... And now basically the school work needed to finish before my work report is due is done. I even did a bunch of Calculus that isn't due until a week from now.

*Realizes CS 246 assignment is posted and goes to do it then realizes Marmoset isn't accepting submissions yet*

Le sigh.